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Both men and women strive for romance and harmony in their personal lives, they want to feel the warmth and support of their loved ones. It is difficult for lonely people to achieve something in life, to enjoy every day, to realize their goals. Male loneliness is difficult to explain by statistics and character traits of the stronger sex, because this can only apply to women. This is an incomprehensible phenomenon, and therefore remains mysterious.

Why male loneliness is perceived differently

Loneliness is like the smell of a poisonous plant: it is pleasant, but intoxicating and eventually becomes fatal for the strongest people. © Friedrich Spielhagen

Women, leading psychologists and men of different ages and social status explain the causes of male loneliness in different ways. If guys can refer to the need to study a lot and build a career, lack of time for acquaintances and meetings, then men in adulthood are looking for an excuse that they failed to meet true love. Some position their loneliness as freedom, the absence of any duties and responsibilities. These concepts they refer to the pluses of male loneliness.

The overwhelming majority of the stronger sex want to have stable relationships, a well-established life, and children at the age of thirty. In their opinion, the entire future career, the program of their implementation, can already be built, being family. It doesn’t even matter for them whether their marriage will be official, or whether they will simply live with their chosen ones. The main thing is that men are conscious of the fact that having a family is a must, and you should choose a reliable life partner.

However, the number of young men who have not started a family by the age of thirty is growing every year. They begin to realize that the older they get, the less opportunities there are to arrange their lives. Very often, men refer to their own shyness, excessive modesty, or even shyness in front of women. They also find advantages in such a situation, because they have time and energy for professional growth. Thus, young men reassure themselves and tune in to the priority of social status and the achievement of material well-being.

Life in the loneliness of a man: an accident or a pattern

Single men increase their self-esteem, become self-confident, and then strive to maintain their position, the main advantage of which they consider freedom. Few people can say “stop” to themselves and think about the fact that it's time to switch from a career to creating a family. Male loneliness becomes habitual for them and, in their opinion, a natural state.

Successful people who do not seek to fight their loneliness do not conform to generally accepted norms, and become targets for gossip and gossip. They do not need to change their habits, and some of them even consider themselves happy people, which causes bewilderment among others. They perceive them as antisocial individuals, and treat them with regret.

If a man is already over thirty, and he has never been married and has not had a permanent long-term relationship, the representatives of the weaker sex surrounding him think that he is “something not like that.” It doesn't occur to them that he may have been stressed out by his first failed attempt at arranging his personal life. It could be treason, and disrespectful attitude, and the desire to be the main one. Most likely, such men need psychological relaxation, a new acquaintance that will make them forget about past troubles.

Male loneliness, based on the fear of failure in relationships, can end with a meeting with one that will change the whole world around you and make you look at it with a completely different look. A person will forget about his past, and the desire to live for the sake of his beloved will return to him.

Another thing is if male loneliness is a matter of pride, an integral part of the implementation of the program, where the goal is material well-being, multiplied by absolute freedom. Such a person cannot be persuaded that his ideas and concepts are untenable, and that family life will bring positive changes and moods into his life.

Many women, unwittingly, scare away men with excessively high demands.

They insist that a strong man should be near them, who is able to provide for them and protect them from everyday hardships. But if their chosen ones have a vulnerable sense of self-worth, they may realize that they will not be able to cope with such a mission, and withdraw into themselves. After all, not every man can take on the financial side. To do this, he needs to earn a lot in order to feel like a real master of the situation.

Male loneliness can also be the reason that a person was very critical of the choice of his half, and all the time he was looking for some flaws in women. Some seemed to him immodest and overly liberated, others - bad housewives, others did not suit their appearance. As a result, such men conclude that there are no worthy chosen ones, and cannot be, and begin to get used to the bachelor life. It never occurs to them that the reason for this situation is their difficult nature, captiousness or selfishness.

How a man can set himself up for changes in life

To rethink his attitude to his personal life, a man should take a blank sheet of paper and write on it the pros of male loneliness, its negative aspects, and directions for further action.

1. The idea that a person should come to terms with his loneliness is untenable. He cannot and should not be alone, and all the "calming" theories about self-sufficiency are not confirmed by anything. This is a manifestation of escapism, instead of finding the right solutions, a person moves away from the problem, becoming even more isolated in himself.
2. To change your state is to acquire faith in yourself and your strengths. You can not justify failures in your personal life by the lack of masculinity, the necessary material condition or gentleness of character. You should tune in to decisive and courageous actions, otherwise you will not succeed in defeating loneliness.
3. When changing yourself for the better, you should not choose a path that will lead to the development of aggression, anger, and even cruelty. After all, being a man does not mean behaving like a wild male. This is an extreme that should be avoided. It is much more preferable to become fearless, but at the same time noble and restrained, purposeful. You need to get rid of the negativity received as a result of previous failures, and not transfer it to new life pages. All relationships should start from scratch.
4. If a man positions himself as weak, soft and compliant, and does not want to change anything in himself, it is worth reconsidering the approach to choosing his soul mate. After all, you can meet strong and self-sufficient women who prefer to have just such partners. Loneliness will be over, and the rest of the development of the relationship will depend on the two of you.
5. Those representatives of the stronger sex who are afraid to be close to more successful ladies should be set as a goal to achieve career and professional growth, which will put both on the same level. This is a fairly productive approach that will serve as an additional incentive for the development of a man.

How men escape loneliness

Male loneliness forces one to seek salvation in communication with friends, in sports activities, in clubs and organizations. A person seeks to find solace, to feel needed, to find recognition.

With such approaches, the solution of the problem can only be postponed, because this is only a temporary solution that will not change the situation as a whole. A person will remain lonely in the circle of like-minded people, and in the gym, and at home. Male loneliness will be in him, and he will not be able to hide from him. The worst-case scenario could be an overindulgence in alcohol, casual relationships, and dubious companies. A person runs the risk of falling into the abyss, and he should change his mind and reconsider his behavior.

Sooner or later, all friends will have families. Interest clubs will become unattractive, and meetings for intimate relations with frivolous women will exhaust all mental resources. If we do not forget that the years go by, then in five or six years it will be very difficult, almost impossible, to catch up.

One person cannot be. He still needs a companion with whom he would share all the joys and sorrows, whose support he could count on in any situation. Therefore, there is no reason to cling to male loneliness, it has never brought happiness to anyone, no matter how those who are proud of their imaginary freedom and seeming independence try to convince him of this.

Causes of male loneliness

Psychologists have written many monographs and dissertations about the causes of male loneliness. Most experts tend to distinguish two groups of single men:

• The first group includes those who remain lonely due to their personal characteristics;
• The second group are people with spiritual features who cannot step over their prejudices.

Everyone wants to avoid stressful situations. For many, new acquaintances bring a number of experiences, doubts, and require significant mental strength. Relationships involve communication, and a man will have to talk about himself, about his past life. He will anxiously await the assessment of the chosen one, because in his words she may not like something.

If he gets a low score, he will have a desire to avoid new meetings, and the man will conclude that all relationships with the opposite sex will end for him in the same way. It is easier for him to remain alone than to make an attempt to raise his level and still normalize his personal life.

Men can be inherently shy, indecisive, and these qualities are perceived by women as weakness. They treat them with a share of condescension, thereby aggravating their desire to never look for new acquaintances. If this happens in adolescence, this psychological trauma can remain for life. A person will become afraid of relationships, and will avoid them in their mature years.

There is a type of men who cannot get rid of psychological dependence and emotional attachment to their mother. They involuntarily compare all the women they meet with her and reject them if they find nothing in common. In their view, the mother is a model for the future wife, and they are not going to change this position. It will be almost impossible for them to find their chosen one with such an approach.

Loneliness and the development of a lonely man

And in loneliness there are divine beautiful duties, and quietly fulfilling them is better than having wealth. © Joseph Haydn

Many men believe that loneliness is an integral part of spiritual growth, a chance to achieve self-sufficiency. From the goals that they set for themselves, they are not distracted by dates, let alone duties. Moreover, emotional breakdowns, experiences take away from them the strength and time necessary to implement their programs.

If a person believes that all relationships are burdensome for him, and he sees himself only in work, scientific activity or playing sports, to dissuade him from this does not make the slightest sense. After all, such a way of life is his choice, to which each of us has the right.

The development of a single man is an issue that causes fierce debate. Some believe that results can be achieved only with the support of loved ones, while others are sure that building the foundation of the family should begin when the main goals are realized.

There is no single and correct solution here, because history knows examples when loved ones played the role of inspiring muses, without which great people could not create their brilliant works. At the same time, there were situations when, due to undeveloped relationships, some lost interest, both in their work and in their whole life.

Loneliness of men: causes and features

When there are so many unsettled women of all ages around, the loneliness of men seems like a far-fetched problem. Some women are ready to warm a man, others want to warm themselves. Men are so in demand that it seems that loneliness does not threaten them. However, according to the State Statistics Committee, there are more single men aged 25-30 than single women. In addition, every second marriage breaks up today, and men are in no hurry to enter into legal relationships again.

Loneliness of men through the eyes of women

For women, every man who lives alone, without a permanent partner, is a potential candidate for a life partner. Not because she necessarily wants to solve her problems at his expense. As Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology explains, according to the law of nature, it is a man who gives a woman a sense of security and safety in life. In turn, a man is most realized in a pair with a woman, because all his deeds are performed for her sake.

It is unlikely that a woman reflects on the problem - how loneliness manifests itself in men. More often, she wonders why the man still does not marry her. And he finds quite simple explanations for this:

- still young

- did not work up, a womanizer;

- mommy's son

- narcissistic egoist;

- does not want to take responsibility;

- greedy.

These are the types of men - their loneliness, maybe even a blessing for a woman (this is how we persuade ourselves). Hanging labels and stigmatizing, women do not contribute to a man's exit from a state of loneliness.

“Personal” reasons are also often found - when loneliness is perceived by a man as a state he himself desires: the possibility of spiritual growth, a sense of self-sufficiency, professional necessity, the requirements of a certain subculture.

If you understand the reasons for their loneliness, you can find a way to make a happy couple out of two lonely people.

It is clear that alone and loneliness are not the same thing.

A man who voluntarily chooses to live alone does not experience a lack of communication, a feeling of loneliness. This is his freedom.

Quite another is the forced loneliness of a man as a result of a break in relations. A person can experience both a sense of liberation and unbearable emptiness and despair - it all depends on how strong the emotional connection with the lost woman was.

Sometimes the loneliness of a man does not depend on his marital status and the number of people around him. He is "a stranger among his own", and his loneliness is more psychological, the reason for which is sometimes not realized by the person himself.

So, we can conditionally distinguish the following types of loneliness:

- physical, when a person lives alone by choice or forced;

- emotional (psychological) loneliness.

Loneliness, its victims and admirers

It depends, according to system-vector psychology, on what vectors nature has awarded us at birth. We - both men and women - differ from each other in a set of innate desires, qualities, properties, aspirations. This further explains the differences in attitudes towards the opposite sex and family values, outlook on life, goals set and ways to achieve them.

Some men who prefer to live alone are surrounded by people during the day, they are in the thick of things. Such people are endowed with a skin vector that pushes them to search for new sensations and impressions. They do only what they consider useful and profitable. They rarely take into account the desires of a partner, they do not tolerate when they are pressured, they do not allow themselves to be manipulated.

At the same time, they attract women with their status and financial well-being, the ability to adapt to life changes and find a way out of difficult situations. It is useful for women who decide to win such a loner to know that these men do not put the family and its interests in the first place in the ranking of their life values. They can even be proud of loneliness, their independence from a partner.

The tendency to experience the feeling of loneliness especially acutely directly depends on the presence of such vectors in a man as anal, visual or sound. It is they who suffer and suffer from loneliness, not knowing how to get rid of the feeling of their uselessness.

A loner with the makings of a family man

Human life values ​​with anal vector - woman, children, family. He is assigned by nature the role of a faithful husband who is not able to deceive his wife. It is he who from birth is endowed with all the necessary qualities of a loving son and the best father. He is the head of the family. Honest, dedicated, reliable.

"The best" is about him. Such a man, by definition, should not be lonely. But it is from him that women leave who do not appreciate his mental structure, leaving him deeply offended.

Mommy's son, a dead man, unable to make a decision (even about marriage) without the approval of his mother, a couch potato, slow-witted, unable to get money ... And this is also all about him, about a lonely man with an anal vector.

System-vector psychology explains what leads to the loneliness of the contender for the title of the best family man.

Leisurely by nature, this man takes a painfully long time to make decisions, especially those that can cause changes in life. To propose to a girl, it takes him more than one or two months. The account can stretch for a year or two. Not every woman agrees to remain in the dark about her future. It is because of this that relationships in a couple are often destroyed, a man is accused of being dependent on his mother and remains alone.

Loneliness due to bad experiences

All properties of the psyche, including a unique memory, are given to the owner of the anal vector to fulfill their specific role - to collect and pass on the knowledge, experience and traditions accumulated by all previous generations. The positive qualities of any vector take on the opposite meaning if a person is in prolonged stress, depression, or for some reason could not realize his innate qualities.

So the memory of the owner of the anal vector often plays a bad role if the first relationship with the girl was unsuccessful, the couple broke up badly or there was a divorce. The memory reliably stores all the grievances experienced, the man does not leave the feeling of guilt for not being able to maintain the relationship, and shame for the fact that this happened to him. He a priori considers all subsequent women dirty, deceitful and unworthy. He does not trust them, so new relationships do not add up, the girls leave, resentment multiplies, loneliness finally settles in his house.

The accusations that he is a mother's son are explained by the fact that in such a man the elevation of the mother to the rank of saints is inherent. Good or bad, loving or making mistakes in raising her son - this is a special woman in his life, even if his resentment towards his mother has long acquired destructive power. This attitude towards the mother leads to excessive attachment to her and dependence on her.

This, by the way, does not always please the mother, who cannot wait until the very “good hands” are found, into which it will be possible to transfer her son. If these “good hands”, thanks to the knowledge of systemic psychology, turn out to be wise enough not to resent such an attitude towards their mother, but find a positive side in this for themselves, this will benefit everyone.

And it happens that the mother herself with all her might supports this attachment, referring to pain. Or he constantly adds fuel to the fire of insults: “All women need only money. Only your mother truly loves you."

Eyes that look longingly

If a successful man with an anal vector also has a visual one, he is the dream of any woman. The visual vector is responsible for love, craving for beauty. This man knows how to arrange a holiday in a woman's life, give beautiful gifts, even with the last money. This is a romantic. For such a man, breaking an emotional connection due to the breakup of a couple or the death of a life partner is tantamount to death.

The anal vector does not let you forget all the happy moments in life, the memory returns time after time to a dramatic event, forcing you to relive the unbearable pain of loss. Women are drawn to a man whose eyes reflect inner longing, in the hope of helping to cope with it. However, he is in no hurry to enter into a new relationship.

Firstly, the presence of the anal vector makes a man monogamous, whose visual eyes snatch out similar girls from the crowd, making him shudder every time. He needs time to get used to a new person and start a relationship. The presence of a visual vector adds the fear of re-experiencing the terrible moment of breaking up with a new girl. It hurts too much. It is easier to keep in mind the image of a departed loved one and remain alone.

Loneliness in the universe

The real loneliness, being among people, is experienced by men with a sound vector. The very ones who can read their poems to a woman in a low voice all night long, teach them to understand the constellations or, without any emotions, resuscitate her hopeless computer.

It seems that a person lives a full life, works, communicates, but inside him there is loneliness.

People do not understand his arrogance, detachment, and he does not understand their base interests and concerns about worldly things. Girls annoy him with their stupidity and the pursuit of material wealth, because he himself is far from all this. There is depression, a terrible feeling of the complete meaninglessness of life, from which one way out is sometimes seen - through the window.

His loneliness is constant, which is difficult to explain without familiarity with the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Only systemic knowledge can help a woman overcome the misunderstanding of the nature of detachment and the desire to isolate herself from all men with a sound vector.

Overcoming loneliness

Women want to be happy next to men. And some people themselves are having a hard time with loneliness, so they are ready to give their warmth and care in order to return a man to a full-fledged happy life in a couple. But without a correct diagnosis of what his loneliness is, it is difficult to find the right “treatment”.

The knowledge of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will reveal the secrets that fraught with the loneliness of each specific representative of the strong half of humanity. Invaluable support on the path from loneliness to happiness is provided by numerous testimonials from those who have already traveled this path:

“... Such a crazy understanding of realities and life circumstances brings a colossal feeling of your presence among people and a huge surge of strength. And only now, on these crazy differences, do you begin to understand that once you were so tormented by the state of some kind of isolation and loneliness, even being in a circle of familiar people ... And now you just begin to experience pleasure from seemingly simple life things, such like just walking among other people.

And when moments of feeling of loneliness come, and somewhere behind you you hear a phrase like: "...listen, this weekend in the market there are up to 70% discounts ..." - from a complete stranger to you, and then more, and more, and more, you feel a smile of recognition spread inside. And today you don’t feel lonely, even being among strangers!!!”

“…One of the main results of the training is that I met true love for the first time in my life!! Now it seems incredible and even mystical, but it's true. By the beginning of the training, for more than a year I was coming out of an unfinished relationship, for which at first I grieved and teetered on the verge of apathy and depression. I felt terrible laziness and did not see the point in looking for other relationships.

Now, by the way, I quite calmly and crystal clear see why the previous relationship turned out exactly the way it turned out. Knowing my vectors and the vectors of the previous girl explained everything and brought peace and some kind of quiet joy that everything turned out that way ... "

It is bad to feel loneliness for both men and women. To understand these conditions, to become able to cope with them and return to a full, happy life is possible on a free online training

Living alone is much better than among unfulfilled promises and false love... Recently, such phrases are increasingly heard in the conversations of men. And everything would be fine, but many of them do not understand that loneliness is like a swamp - the more you flounder, the faster you sink.

Experts spoke about male loneliness, causes and ways to overcome it.

Male loneliness: an accident or a pattern

It's not just women who suffer from loneliness. Male loneliness is also not uncommon, it’s just that it’s not customary to talk about it like about female. In post-Soviet society, few people condemn bachelors who live on their own, while single women are “stigmatized”. But it is just as difficult for men to cope with long loneliness as for women, because this loneliness is not at all accidental. Most often, the reasons for loneliness lie in the previous relationship of a man, which for some reason did not work out, sometimes it happens that the reasons are in the upbringing of the man himself, for example, he believes that his chosen one should be ideal, and where to find one.

Loneliness of men through the eyes of women

Women perceive single men as a potential "trophy". Few of them think why a man over 30 or a man over 40 is lonely, why he prefers chronic loneliness to his family, does not want to start a serious relationship. It seems to them that this is simply due to the fact that he did not meet the very one, the only one that will win his heart. Perhaps this is true, but most often we are talking about depression, loneliness syndrome and other causes that need to be seriously addressed. In other words, most often a young man needs to be treated, and not try to brighten up loneliness so that he understands that here she is - the ideal woman that he has been waiting for for years.

Are there any consequences of male loneliness

The consequences of male loneliness are just as negative as those of women. You should not think that men are stronger creatures who can't care less about all the troubles. Psychology and esotericism are full of examples when a man, having decided to put up with loneliness, received a whole “bouquet” of problems. Problems in personal life sooner or later begin to "corrode" a person's life. Many start having problems in their careers, many men follow the path of self-destruction, carried away by alcohol or some kind of addictions and addictions. Problems are growing like a snowball and now the life of single men does not seem as wonderful as before.

Living alone is much better than among unfulfilled promises and false love ... Recently, such phrases are increasingly heard in the conversations of men.

Causes of male loneliness

Failures in previous relationships

If some woman broke the heart of a man, then he may decide to live alone and not let anyone else into his heart and house. Not only women suffer from the fact that their feelings were not shared, but their love was betrayed. If the feelings were very strong, then a man can also become a loner.

Finding the perfect woman

A man could draw a picture of his future companion in such bright colors that now he simply cannot meet a woman who will match her. So he has to put up with loneliness until he finds his ideal. But the search for the ideal can take years.

Negative attitude towards marriage

The choice of loneliness may be dictated by the fact that a man has a bad attitude towards marriage. Most often this happens when he has bad examples. For example, his parents lived like a dog with a cat, and the man believes that marriage is bad, constant scandals, crying children, duties.

Lack of family values

There are also men who pretend to be Casanova and change women like gloves. They dont have family values for some reason, they see no reason to limit themselves to one woman. Such bachelors prefer to make pleasant acquaintances for one or more nights.

financial instability

Some men do not want to start a serious relationship because they do not have a stable income. Most often, these are free men who, with age, understand that a family is a house, a wife and children, and you have to pay for all this. They are unable or unwilling to bear this financial burden.

The positive aspects of loneliness

If loneliness is temporary, then there is nothing wrong with it. While a man does not have a family, he can engage in personal and professional growth, build a career, play sports, and have fun with friends. The main thing is that this period does not drag on, because the danger of loneliness is that the habit of being alone develops imperceptibly. But it is difficult to see the line beyond which the desire to be alone becomes chronic.

Negative sides of loneliness

As we have already said, the main thing is that the desire to be alone does not drag on for many years. As soon as it becomes chronic, you will have to seriously engage in the fight against loneliness. Bad habits appear imperceptibly, but it takes a lot of work to eradicate them. Many men have to turn to psychologists or esoteric specialists in order to get rid of the pain of loneliness and build a family.

Ways to deal with male loneliness

Sport

Sports and healthy lifestyles are an excellent cure for all ills, including the fear of loneliness. In addition, in a sports club or on a stadium track, there is every chance to meet a woman who will win the heart of a man. You should not sit at home within four walls and run along the same route: home - work - home.

Job

To survive loneliness, you can go headlong into work. This is a particularly good recipe for younger years, when a man is just starting to climb the career ladder. While there is no family, he will be able to find time for everything that men who have a family and children cannot afford.

A pet

Getting a pet is one of the best recipes for dealing with the effects of loneliness. This may be a dog that will help overcome the fear of loneliness, because you will have to walk with it, which means leaving the house. Or some other animal that a man will like.

Friends

True friends will help you get out of any troubles, including the quagmire of loneliness. These can be the same bachelors as the man himself, or family (but always with a happy family life). The second option is even better, as a man will be able to get used to the idea of ​​a family.

Hobby

An interesting hobby will help you forget about your psychological problems (and total loneliness is one of them). Ideally, if the hobby is related to in a healthy way life and communication with other people, and not sitting all day at home. So tanks are unlikely to pass for a hobby.

How to get rid of the fear of loneliness

Despite the pros and cons of loneliness, most men still do not want to be alone for the rest of their lives. If you notice signs of a single man in yourself, we advise you to contact a psychologist or a specialist in the field of esotericism. At first glance, it seems that there is nothing terrible in loneliness, you can go bachelor until the age of 40, and then one fine morning get married, build a house, plant a tree and raise a son. In fact, single men face a mountain of complexes, fears and blocks that prevent them from being happy in love. And the later this realization comes to them, the harder it is to get rid of them.

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