What to do if your son starts masturbating. Conversations with a psychologist Masturbation in a small child. What to do? About masturbation in children

Hello, dear parents!
Today we will talk about a difficult, but exciting topic for many parents - child masturbation. What kind of phenomenon is this? Is it dangerous? And how to react?

The “Nature” of Child Masturbation

There are several types of classifications of this phenomenon. Psychologists also decided to keep up: so, in their work D.N. Isaeva And V.E. Kagan “Psychohygiene of gender in children” various types of masturbation in children and adolescents are indicated, which is based on ideas about the various mechanisms of masturbatory behavior. However, let’s not get scared ahead of time, but let’s figure out when and why this happens.

Infant masturbation

Preschool masturbation

Puberty-adolescent masturbation

Teen masturbation

For mental disorders

• Symptomatic. As a result of direct irritation of the genital or nearby areas due to infectious somatic diseases, most often helminthiasis, itchy dermatoses, as well as in the absence of necessary body hygiene.
• Frustration or Neurotic It occurs in preschool and school age, and is not directly related to sexual desire. The child, for example, has a high level of demands at school, strict rules and prohibitions at home, additional education is also associated with concentration and concentration. A child needs to be disciplined, organized and concentrated everywhere. This is stressful for any child, and if your child also has choleric temperament, then masturbation acts as a “salvation.” It is the only release, relieves tension nervous system. A child, as a rule, after a “hard day” looks for opportunities to masturbate, not for sexual satisfaction, but as a way to relieve tension and discharge.

  Sometimes masturbation begins in the first grade, when the child is in a constant state of stress, and orgasm brings him temporary relief, distracting him from threats emanating from the teacher, classmates, etc. Some children begin to slowly masturbate right in class: during a test, before going out to the blackboard. However, children never engage in masturbation for show and it is important to know that if this does happen, then it is better to consult a psychiatrist.

Is it dangerous? Why are adults so scared?

By her own Masturbation is not dangerous if:

• it is not pretentious in nature with the use of foreign objects that could harm the child.
• if masturbation is episodic and is not obsessive in nature as an everyday ritual.

Despite quite a lot of information, most parents find the fact of their child “playing with the genitals” very alarming. A state of panic often prevents parents from reacting correctly to the appearance of child masturbation. What kind of fears overwhelm caring parents: “is he normal”, and “is it too early to do this”, and “will the child then be able to live a normal sex life”, and “won’t he (she) do harm there”? "somehow."

And it must be said most definitely that Harm here can ONLY be caused by the wrong reaction of adults. In case of AGGRESSIVE behavior of adults (ridiculing, intimidation, making it public, including among peers, anger, chasing a child, slapping hands and other parts) The baby may develop a connection between sexual sensations and fear and shame, which will have a very negative impact on his future. The shame surrounding everything related to gender and related organs can lead to the fact that, as a child grows older, he will not tell you about a situation that requires intervention (for example, about harassment by an adult or older child), after all, the baby will be even more afraid of the parents’ DISCONTENT related to the topic of sex and the body than a potential rapist. And this is deadly!

In the long term, this "Ostrich politics" will come back to haunt you with the inability to discuss certain intimate issues with your partner, not to mention the difficulties associated with the perception of your body as something dirty and shameful. Even more serious consequences of an inadequate response from adults can lead to improper formation of sexuality, expressed in reduced potency in men, and the absence or even arousal itself in women.

If a significant person for a child persistently convinces him that he has vicious inclinations, then sooner or later the child will try to justify such assumptions. If this behavior is ignored and parents try to pretend that everything is normal, the child can simply “GET USED” to this form of behavior as the only accessible and quick way to achieve a goal (relieving stress, for example).

What to do?

Psychologists suggest adhering to a few simple principles:

• the appearance of masturbation as a phenomenon of cognition should not cause caution - its consolidation and increase in the facts of repetitions should prompt an analysis of the reasons;
• a strict ban on masturbation can only stimulate interest in it and its use;
• you should not make the topic of masturbation significant in the family circle;
• there is no reason to perceive childhood masturbation and arousal as identical to adult sexual arousal, especially at an early age;
• You should not encourage your child to use masturbation (show films, programs promoting this, and also create the ground by excessive caresses of an adult, kissing the groin area, buttocks, tickling, as well as close, noisy violent games before bedtime).

• Calmly and calmly, using medical, physiological language, explain to your child that these are intimate organs and excessive touching or stimulation of them is unhygienic and can damage the delicate structure of the tissue (without intimidation!!!);
• It is also important to explain to the child that this is very intimate and cannot happen in public places if the child tries to do this, for example, while climbing on the playground, which happens quite often!
• Be sure to monitor the child’s hygiene so as not to provoke an additional reason in the form of itching;
• Provide timely medical care to the child in case of specific diseases;
• Pay attention and analyze (in what situations or after what events this is most likely to happen), think about possible alternatives. How can you relieve emotional stress in other, more socially acceptable ways and unobtrusively offer them to the child (increasing physical activity, for example, in the form of training, walks, etc.).

Summarizing all of the above

Be attentive to yourself and your children!
Sincerely, child psychologist, ava-therapist Vorobyova Lyudmila
([email protected])

Probably, thumb sucking and nail biting are nothing compared to another pathological habit that may lie in wait for you and your baby. This morning he asked to come to your bed, and very tenderly, trustingly, pressing his whole body against you, he began to hug and kiss. You felt so pleased and good that you didn’t want to attach any significance to it. But during the day... You realized that you had made a mistake by accidentally catching him playing... playing with his genitals. Moreover, the baby not only was not afraid, but very sincerely asked you who he really is, in fact... is he a boy or a girl, although he knows perfectly well who he is.

You were so shocked and shocked that you couldn’t answer him. How can this be assessed? What is this? Game, fun, ridicule or basic debauchery? You missed something in the baby. How to get out of this situation? Take him and punish him, so that he remembers him forever, or calmly explain him correctly... But how can he explain this correctly when he is a baby, barely three years old? Three years... but I thought of this... And you, unable to bear it, screamed, even remembering how in the morning he tenderly caressed you in bed...

You lost your temper, but made a grave pedagogical mistake in relation to him, instilling in him that he was playing this way on purpose, and that he is a very bad child.

No, not bad. At three years old, your baby is simply not yet mature enough to engage in masturbation. He unconsciously, while playing, irritates the genitals. He doesn't know that there is any sexual satisfaction there. He is driven only by curiosity and curiosity. Even before he was a year old, he began the path of an explorer, exploring all parts of the body, and is still studying them all. But if earlier he simply noted that this is a pen and this is a leg, now he wants to compare them with other people’s body parts. And at the age of three he cannot understand that there are “forbidden” places on the body that cannot be explored. And if we also remind him of this, then his curiosity intensifies, and he tries to figure out why this organ is “forbidden” than others, involuntarily focusing his attention on it, which can become a pathological habit.

In addition, from the age of three, a child often experiences a romantic feeling of love for his parents, and sometimes a feeling somewhat reminiscent of sexual desire. But this is not a perversion, this is the norm, one of the many stages in the development of a healthy child. Moreover, physical attraction to relatives is an everyday occurrence and does not conceal any oversight, because it is so nice to cuddle up to a loved one. The kid does everything without second thoughts. He is pure and considers everything around him pure. But our sex education, or rather the complete absence of it, can give rise to excessive bias from this purity and turn the natural into the unlawful, thereby generating interest. When you can't, you want to try. And the children try...

But if by the age of three the child still does not understand what he did wrong, then at the age of six he is already ashamed and sincerely wants to break the habit of the bad habit. Therefore, when suddenly you suddenly find a baby playing with his genitals, there is no need to faint. Endurance is required. Calmly, without emotion, but sternly explain to the baby that this is ugly and cannot be done this way, that he is already big and should play other games. And if your child is healthy, then this disapproval is quite enough for him to switch his interest to please you.

So, at three years old, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, and because of this, he cannot engage in it. But very often, without realizing it, we ourselves create the preconditions for masturbation in him in the future. And the main one of these prerequisites is again incorrect upbringing, when the child feels that he is not needed and, moreover, unloved. And this torments him so much that he tries to distract himself and looks for a way of distraction as compensation for everything. And if at this time he accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out anxiety and makes his life more pleasant, the child will engage in it consciously in order to evoke more positive emotions and forget his adversities against the background of them.

When the baby does not feel affection and warmth and is sensitive to separation to the point of vulnerability, and the mother does everything to be separated from him, and even enrolls the baby not just in a kindergarten, but in a 24-hour group, he withdraws into himself as a sign of protest and looks for a way to unwind. He searches... and finds.

Only children are especially vulnerable and sensitive. They have no brothers and sisters with whom they can communicate. And they have to depend on the mood of their parents. And the mood can be different. Quite often - not very good, and this - ricochets on the child. When your child has an active temperament, he immediately looks for a new outlet. In general, as a rule, release through masturbation is more typical of active children; “hoarders” simply suck their fingers.

Another reason for masturbation is when the baby suffers after learning that a child of the opposite sex was expected at home. He is a boy, but daddy needs a girl...

And even your forced feeding is the cause of this pathological habit, especially when parents fight with the baby, and push and pour into him what is necessary and not necessary, only causing an aversion to food. Remember, when a child does not experience pleasure from food, one of the most sensitive areas of the body turns off. And this zone - the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth - although reflexively, is connected with another sensitive zone - the genital one. And if the mouth area is “silent,” then the genital area is excited, and this worries the baby. He begins to touch the genitals and feels how the excitement is relieved. You continue to force feed the baby, he continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Itching in the genital area is possible when the baby has exudative diathesis, diaper rash, worms, when you wrap him up too much and put tight clothes on him.

A child's genitals can become irritated when hygiene requirements are not followed or when you teach him too carefully to observe them, which leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

And even physical punishment (spanking and flogging) contributes to a rush of blood to the baby’s genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing. Excessively sweet and very rich meat foods with a small amount of water drunk, causing itching in the genital area, often also cause masturbation.

Quite often, young children “imitate” older children with increased sexual interest. Such cases of “imitation” sometimes “infect” entire children’s groups.

However, whatever the reason, masturbation is a way of relieving nervous tension. And if suddenly it appears in your child, look for where the sources of tension are. Do not attach undue importance to masturbation. This is not something out of the ordinary that ruins the baby’s life. Therefore, there is no need to intimidate him. Your threats are often worse than masturbation. It is they, and not the pathological habit itself, that can cripple a child’s future.

How should parents behave with a child who engages in masturbation:

• Find the cause and eliminate it.
• Do not subject to interrogation or inspection.
• Do not shame, especially in front of strangers.
• Do not scold or intimidate under any circumstances.
• Try to give your child maximum attention.
• Adjust his diet.
• Allow you to wear loose clothing.
• In your daily routine, focus on water procedures and walks in the fresh air.
• Create an opportunity to communicate with peers.
• Love and understand!

Very often, many parents literally immediately “grab their heads” when they catch their child performing any kind of manipulation with the genitals. But is this always a sign of a child’s predisposition to infantile masturbation? Of course not. If we speak intelligently, correctly and briefly, then masturbation is a conscious action (any manipulation) with the genitals aimed at obtaining pleasure. Naturally, having caught a baby doing such an activity, there can be no talk of any kind of child masturbation. This is a normal manifestation of interest in your body and its structure. If the actions are purposeful, if the child really engages in masturbation and you have no doubt about it, then you need to approach the situation correctly and, what is very important, not provoke psychological trauma. All actions should be aimed at preserving the natural, normal relationship of our treasure to its body, as well as ensuring its sexuality in the future.

Common causes of child masturbation and rules of behavior for parents

First of all, it is important to correctly determine the reasons why the child began to engage in masturbation. They can be varied and individual, but there are several main ones that are primary sources:

Ways to get rid of a bad habit

Many sexologists do not see anything bad or catastrophic in masturbation, but it is a harmful habit, and it can provoke obsessive behavior and subsequently get completely out of control. It is necessary to fight it, but carefully, gradually and as calmly as possible.

You will find more materials on and with it in the sections of our parents club of the same name by following the appropriate links.

Childhood masturbation: causes and methods of relief was last modified: July 22, 2015 by Koskin

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It is probably difficult to find a mother who would say that her child, wittingly or unwittingly, did not engage in masturbation. Most likely, someone might not have noticed. But this is unrealistic - not to pay attention to, accompanied by certain body movements in children. This means that my mother saw it, but did not attach any importance to it. Or maybe she was embarrassed to take the child to a specialist. Or she didn’t want to touch the topic at all, saying that it would outgrow it and go away on its own...

Is such an oversight by a parent dangerous? They will now begin to calm us down from everywhere. Like, no, it’s not dangerous, it’s a natural process. And in general, it often happens to young children, because the phenomenon is common and harmless. What about doctors? Don't panic...

But, have mercy, now, in childhood, this is a case, and with the correct behavior of parents, you can get rid of the misfortune. Although, given our busy schedule, this is doubtful. Well, what about adolescence and adulthood? A harmful pathology, which we call a habit, will develop into neurosis and radically change a person. It ruins his life and negatively affects his psyche and physiology.

What to do if you notice that your child engages in handjob? What are reasons for the development of masturbation in children? Is it possible to somehow stop this process?

About masturbation in children

Yes, before you start talking about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children, etc., you need to know what kind of animal this is.

In short, we are talking about artificial irritation of the genitals for pleasure.

At what age do children start masturbating?

This is terrible, but, as practice shows, there is no age for children's masturbation. Some attentive mothers paid attention to the fact that their babies began to engage in it in the first year of life, almost from three to four months...

What does child masturbation look like?

There are enough classic manifestations of child masturbation. And one of them, as we have already noted, is artificial irritation of the genitals. But to find out whether your child suffers from this scourge, you need to watch him. Here are signs that may indicate that a child is masturbating:

1. the baby regularly rubs one leg against another, crossing them and throwing them one on top of the other, blushing and groaning at the same time;
2. can sway in concentration with a distant gaze, while rubbing actively and for a long time against the surface;
3. a slightly older child, getting to know his body, can regularly touch his genitals with his hands;
4. babies caress their entire bodies and kiss their mother, touching their genitals at these moments.

Causes of masturbation in children

There are many of them, and every attentive mother will add to the list of typical (physiological, psychological and spiritual) reasons. But let's focus on the key ones.

1. Curiosity. Yes, children learn about themselves. And this is natural when they touch everything that comes to their hand, but this interest should not turn into a habit.
2. Poor hygiene. Yes, a child can perform different actions in response to constantly appearing itching in the genitals.
3. The child wants to go to the toilet. This includes constipation and urinary retention. As a result, the tension caused by the rush of blood to the genitals spreads to the genitals, and children begin to look for a way to discharge.
4. Allergy. It can also make the child want to put his hands in his panties again.
5. Too tight swaddling or undersized underwear.
6. Bad potty training experience. The child was punished when he endured and peed.
7. Obsessive neurosis. It can be caused by the divorce of parents, a long separation from mom, and similar moments associated with experiences.
8. Imitation. Having seen how adults engage in handjobs, children who are capable of imitation can try it out of interest and then constantly show it to their organs.
9. Lack of parental attention. As a rule, we are talking about large and conflicting families. Children, feeling a lack of love for them, feeling unnecessary, drown out their grievances by constantly keeping their hands in their pants.
10. Cruel punishment. Especially if children are punished regularly and for a long time, they defend themselves with onanistic games, thus discharging nervous tension. Children at such moments can involuntarily become sexually aroused.
11. Force feeding. Surprised? Meanwhile, by forcing your child to eat when he doesn’t want to, you unwittingly activate the genital zones, which are associated with the mucous membranes of the lips and mouth.
12. and the non-church life of parents. No comments…

Your reaction to manifestations of child masturbation

They say that childhood is not a diagnosis. Perhaps at a certain age - yes. But, if you notice that your child regularly experiences certain sensations with certain stimulation, take action. This is how parents should act in such moments.

• There is no need to panic, react violently to what you see, draw the child’s attention to the problem, or hit him. After all, children are pure and innocent. Therefore, the main thing here is tact and restraint, which will help to switch their attention to something else and talk to them later. In general, excessive attention to the situation will have the opposite effect.
• There is no need to intimidate if you catch your son or daughter in the act - he is already ashamed, and in general, threats are worse than masturbation itself. Naturally, don’t even think about hitting and punishing. On the contrary, you need to reassure, reassure that you still love.
• Do not focus the child’s attention on what happened, divert the conversation to the side (it is now useless), negating the growing interest in the habit of keeping your hands in your pants - a lot depends on your reaction.
• Answer his questions, even the most, in your opinion, ridiculous ones.
• Having told a child who is able to understand this how harmful this habit is, clarify how vile this sin is before the Lord and that it must be confessed and bear the fruits of repentance.

Having understood the situation, do not let it take its course - it will not resolve on its own. Yes, the best way to get through this period of physiological masturbation without problems is your love and attention, as well as an action plan.

What to do

So, you understand that your child is not out of trouble. What to do? Much depends on age. After all, some recommendations will be given to a baby who is from three months to three years old, others - to a boy or girl who is already 6-7 years old and beyond. Schematically, your actions might look something like this.

• First of all, understand the reasons -. And, as we know, there are a lot of them, and in each case there is different advice. In short, you just need to carefully read the chapter above about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children.
• Second, immediately rule out causes of stimulation of the genital organs associated with diseases and age, among others. For example, pay attention more often, show your love, do not punish harshly, monitor your health and natural functions, buy comfortable underwear, do not allow the child to see intimate scenes, sleep for a long time or fall asleep, etc.
• Explain to your child in accessible language that what he is doing is ugly and harmful. Older children can be told about the physiological processes that cause itching (for example, the secretion of smegma (lubricant).
• When showing affection to your child, try not to overstep your boundaries so that he doesn’t get excited.
• Find ways to encourage your child to switch his activity in a good direction. This could be playing sports or participating in hobby groups, outdoor games, communicating with peers, talking about interesting topics, going to the theater together, etc.
• If these measures do not help, and the child continues his studies, you need to take him to the clinic - the pediatrician will give a referral to the right specialist (this could be a psychologist, a neurologist, a specialized doctor, etc.).
• It is important to organize church life for a child so that, as he grows older, he can confess and bear the fruits of repentance.

So, the main thing in this problem is our, parental, shortcomings. And, if we deal with them in time, our children will grow up without bad habits and be successful in this life.

Pathological habits in children

The most common pathological habits in children under school age are habits such assucking objects, thumb sucking, nail biting, masturbation (masturbation). Painful desires are less common in preschoolers pull out or pluck hair(trichotillomania) and rhythmichead shaking and torso (yactation). The basis of pathological habits is the fixation of certain actions. In order to help children get rid of pathological habits, parents and teachers need, first of all, to understand the nature of these habits.

It is known that Pathological habits reduce the child’s negative emotional experiences (dissatisfaction, conflicting feelings towards people close to the child) and help relieve emotional stress.The fixation of pathological habits is also helped by the feeling of pleasure that the child experiences and the increased attention of surrounding adults to these actions of the child.

It must be remembered thatwhen pathological habits are suppressed, the child’s feeling of internal tension increases.Moreover, having suppressed one habit in a preschool child, we immediately get another in return. A particular difficulty lies in the fact that in most cases, preschoolers do not have the desire to overcome pathological habits; moreover, there is often active resistance to adults’ attempts to eliminate actions that are familiar and pleasant for the child (the understanding of pathological habits as negative appears in the child only towards the end of preschool age) . Along with the general features, pathological habitual actions have characteristics inherent in each of them, and therefore, ways to overcome them.

Masturbation in a small child. What to do?

Your baby is growing up, and then one day you notice that your son or daughter is touching his genitals. What is this? Natural childhood curiosity or a pathological habit - masturbation (masturbation)?

Typically, between the ages of 2-3 and 5-6 years, children begin to develop an interest in learning about the differences between the female and male bodies. They look at naked children and adults with interest, but the sensations of their own body are no less interesting to them. Children often play with their genitals, touching them, fiddling with them, scratching them... The interest here is purely educational! But, if the sensations that the child experiences become the dominant source of positive emotions for him, then he begins to resort to stimulation of the genital organs constantly, resulting in masturbation.

At 2-3 years old, the baby does not yet understand what masturbation is, does not know that touching oneself and others in some places is considered indecent, so at this age it is too early to talk about masturbation. Masturbation is a way of self-satisfaction, when a child brings himself to emotional release (before bed, hiding in a secluded place) and does it regularly, then you can talkabout pathological habit. In an open form, noticeable to adults, this habit occurs in 5% of boys and 3% of girls of preschool age (according to A.I. Zakharov).

If a child is easily distracted from looking at and feeling his body parts, openly asks questions (for example, about the structure of the body, the difference between a man and a woman, between a girl and a woman), his behavior and normal sleep are not disturbed, then this is a natural step in development psyche, knowledge of the surrounding world and oneself. A surge of such interest occurs between the ages of 3 and 6 years, then subsides until adolescence. In this situation, it is enough for parents to behave tactfully, not to shame for natural curiosity, and to answer children's questions.

Prerequisites for the occurrence of masturbation

Physiological.

Active, indomitable temperament (choleric) and, as a consequence, an increased need to relieve mental stress.

If a girl does not like to play with dolls, she prefers to be friends with boys; if the boy has clearly expressed boyish behavior traits.

Psychological.

Incorrect upbringing, when a child feels unwanted, unloved, lonely: excessive severity, restriction of activity, a large number of prohibitions, physical punishment (especially spanking on the bottom, spanking with a belt). It bothers and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself to compensate for the loneliness. If at this moment a child accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety and makes life more enjoyable, then he will consciously engage in it.

Problems of emotional contact with parents: lack of affection, attention, positive emotions, early separation from the mother (when the child is sent to a nursery early, the mother goes to work and entrusts the care of the baby to another adult).Sensitivity to separation from mother. The child withdraws into himself as a sign of protest and looks for a way to discharge himself.Such children hide their feelings, emotions, experiences, and often live in their own imaginary world.

A second child appears in the family, and the eldest feels unwanted and unloved.

Force feeding also contributes to the occurrence of masturbation. When parents are at war with the baby, they push him, forcing him to eat everything. This only causes aversion to food. And if the child does not experience pleasure from eating, then other sensitive areas of the body are activated. The mucosal area of ​​the lips and mouth is connected to the genital area. If the first one is “silent”, then the second one is excited. (according to A.I. Zakharov). The baby begins to touch the genitals. If you continue to force feed your baby, he will continue to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Psychological infection - adults often take the child into bed, caress them too much, kiss them on the lips, or are too careful about their hygiene (frequent washing, etc.). Imitation of elders - if the child saw in a movie, accidentally saw parents, or older children with increased sexual interest.

Clinical.

The manifestation of neuropathy - sleep disorder, poor sleep - leads to the accumulation of anxiety, which is thus eliminated.

What else can provoke the appearance of masturbation?

The only child in the familyisolated from children's society.

High emotionality of the child.

Increased excitability.

Physical punishment (spanking, flogging) promotes a rush of blood to the genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing the child.

Pregnancy pathologies, unwanted pregnancy.

When parents wanted a child of one gender, but “it turned out” - another.

Excessive adherence to principles by parents.

Impulsiveness, intemperance of the father.

Mother's coldness.

Neglect or, conversely, too careful adherence to hygiene standards;
Excessive wrapping, tight clothing.

Poor hygiene, excessively tight clothing, itching in the genital area due to diathesis, worms, and diaper rash lead to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

You suddenly caught your child masturbating

First of all, if you suddenly find your child masturbating, there is no need to faint or scream or stomp your feet.

Resilience and tact are required. If this is a small child, then try to calmly, without emotions, switch his attention to something else.

You also need to behave calmly with a school-age child and talk about this when he is able to listen to you. But, under no circumstances scold or intimidate your child!

Reassure him, convince him that you want to help him, that you do not judge him, that this will not affect your love for him.

After the first shock has passed, a trusting relationship with the child has been established, try to understand why the child is engaged in masturbation?

rubdown

How to avoid consolidation of masturbation?

And how to help a child?

So, first of all, find out the reason for the habit.

Do not shame, punish, or scold under any circumstances. Do not attach undue importance to masturbation. Your threats to your baby are worse than masturbation. It is they, and not masturbation, that can cripple a child’s future.

You don’t even have to talk to your child about this topic, But radically change educational methods, relationship with the baby.

Give your child more freedom and the opportunity to act independently.

Praise often.

The atmosphere in the family should be calm and friendly.

If a child wants to run or jump, do not hold him back, but, on the contrary, provide him with physical activity (outdoor walks, sports or dance class).

Encourage your child to express feelings and emotions; if he does not know how to adequately respond to negative emotions, teach him.

Communicate more often on neutral topics, avoiding lectures and lectures.

Treat prickly heat, diathesis, helminthic diseases in a timely manner; urological and gynecological diseases.

Clothes should be clean, loose, and not chafing. Tight clothing can constantly put pressure on the genitals or irritate them during movement. A child, experiencing discomfort from such clothing, will constantly adjust it, unzip it, and be forced to touch the genitals.

Do not frighten your child with the terrible consequences of his “dirty” actions! This will lead to the emergence of an inferiority complex, which in the future will result in problems with understanding one’s body, problems with sex in adulthood.

Do not humiliate the child by questioning, examining, or discussing this topic in front of strangers.

As soon as you notice that your child is showing interest in gender differences, explain them to him. At the same time, remember that at the age of 2.5 - 4 years the child does not need details. Just tell him that the urinary organs of girls and boys are different, so that in the future he will not show increased interest in this topic. If you do not explain this to him, then he himself will search for answers to his questions (which he may not ask out loud). After all, there are numerous cases of children demonstrating their genitals in kindergartens (the toilet is shared!).

It is best to teach your child to sleep on his side, placing both palms under his cheek. Some babies like to sleep on their stomach. This is also a safe position in terms of possible masturbation. But if a child prefers to sleep on his back, then it is best to teach him to put his hands on top of the blanket, without explaining the real reason, but by coming up with some plausible explanation.

If you are helping a preschool child wash, you should not rub the genitals with a hard washcloth, nor gently touch or stroke them. Treat them as an ordinary part of the body, then the child will treat them the same.

Teach your child to play and have fun. In other words, it is important to teach your baby so that even when left alone, he can independently occupy himself with something interesting (besides masturbation).

Review your diet (less sweet, spicy, salty).

It is necessary to distract the child with a more pleasant and interesting activity, expanding the range of interests and communication with peers. It is necessary to increase activity in movements, in ways of expressing feelings and to include in the child’s life health activities aimed at increasing the sense of the body: bathing, dousing,

Seek help from a neurologist.

Remember! Masturbation is a way to relieve nervous tension. If you cope with the tension, masturbation will “go away.”

Love your child!Most often, masturbation affects children in orphanages, who are not needed by anyone, are not loved by anyone, and do not have the opportunity to express themselves. Draw a conclusion!!!

What if the problem remains...?

If, however, the child does not stop masturbating until the age of 8–10, be sure to consult a child psychiatrist or sex therapist. Often at this age, masturbation may be due to the influence of sexually preoccupied adults or adolescents with mental disorders.

The need for masturbation may also be due to the child’s increased hypersexuality or premature psychosexual development.

Many children are not able to cope with their hypersexuality on their own. And since the satisfaction of sexual desire is pleasant to him, and dissatisfaction, on the contrary, causes mental discomfort and unpleasant sensations, he strives to please himself as best he can. At this age, the child is not able to understand the consequences of early formed libido in the form of surrogate forms.

It is absolutely useless to “scare” a child in such cases.

You should know that manifestations of premature psychosexual development can and should be treated. If this violation is not corrected in time, the child will form a stable stereotype of surrogate realization of sexual desire.

In conclusion, we notethat the greater the parents’ desire to remove, eliminate the external attribute of the problem- be it thumb sucking, object sucking, nail biting or masturbation (masturbation),the less likely it is to eliminate the cause of the habit. In the prevention of pathological habitsnormalization of family relationships, a gentle and even attitude towards the child, satisfaction of his need for emotional warmth and affection are of great importance,systematic health and physical education activities, development of creativity.

Pathological habits must be treated with due attention. Only then will the child’s situation change in the desired direction.

Bibliography:

Alekseeva E.E. Pathological habits in children. // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.

Vinogradova E. A. “Bad habits. Little tips for parents." M., St. Petersburg 2006.

Sviridenko E. V. Childhood masturbation: what is the reason and what to do? // Baby's health. URL: http://www.mama23.ru/articl/cat-10.html.

Shirokova G.A., Zhadko E.G. Masturbation in childhood. // // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.