The article contains only frequent questions from women who want to know what to do if a man insults and treats his wife or his girlfriend, cohabitant badly. Write about your situation in the comments.
What to do if a husband constantly insults and humiliates and beats, kicks, maims, leaves bruises and how to deal with it psychologist's advice
If a woman is constantly exposed to domestic sadism and violence, she should decide for herself where she wants to go next, whether she wants to endure such an attitude towards herself and whether this patience is worth it. But she should understand that when raising the question of the permanence of these actions, one should not expect changes.
The first thing a woman can do is try to talk to her husband. If this does not help, the girl may try to change her behavior, image and appearance.
If a woman has become a victim of a sadistic husband and this problem is not solved for good, then she should run away from him, file for divorce and immediately contact a psychologist for qualified help.
How to behave if a husband calls a woman names, does not appreciate and why this happens
There can be many reasons why a husband allows himself to offend his woman in any way. She should look around to give herself answers to a few questions.
One of the main reasons for this behavior of men may be a similar model of behavior and relationships among his parents. In such a situation, you can try to change everything. He needs to be shown that the relationship between two people in love can take place on a completely different level.
Sometimes a man's rude behavior towards his other half can be explained by the peculiarities of his character. In such cases, his wife should try to understand him and stop paying attention to his antics.
Sometimes you just need not to give out any reactions to barbs and rudeness. Then, perhaps, he will not be interested, and he will stop behaving in this way, seeing the woman's indifferent attitude to what is happening. Speaking frankly about how it can hurt can also change a lot. The main thing is to indicate to the offender that he is loved, despite his actions. Love and affection can work wonders.
Why a man humiliates and beats every or not every day, whether he loves a girl
The reason for the husband's aggressive behavior towards his wife may be she herself. If a woman allows herself to swear in the presence of her husband, especially if this happens often, and there are no good reasons for such behavior, then sooner or later a man may simply not restrain himself and fight back through aggression. The same reaction can be expected in situations where the beautiful half of the family herself rushes at her chosen one with her fists.
Not infrequently, the reason for a man's aggression can be alcohol, under the influence of which a man feels strength and an irresistible desire to show his superiority.
In such cases, the girl should not expect anything good from this union. If a man does not want to hear about addiction treatment and changing his behavior in the family, then holding on to this relationship does not make sense.
A man who beats a woman constantly has no right to talk about love or any similar feelings for her. He does not even have elementary respect for his other half.
My husband humiliates me and does not understand that he is doing very painful how to explain
It is quite difficult to explain to a man who constantly raises his hand to his woman that he offends her in this way and hurts her. If a frank conversation on this topic does not work, then it may be worth taking drastic action.
Forgiving such an attitude towards a girl is not worth it under any circumstances. Once this could happen by accident, but if it happened a second time, then you need to show the man that no one will tolerate this.
This can be done only by leaving him, without giving him the opportunity to correct everything and make amends with subsequent actions. You need to leave the man for a few days, give him the opportunity to think about his behavior and understand that this can lead to a break.
My husband gets drunk and morally humiliates me, I can’t do anything anymore, I love him
If a husband allows himself to constantly get drunk, then marriage no longer has a good and bright future. Especially if in a drunken state he can show aggression.
In such cases, there are only two ways out of the situation: treatment for alcoholism and a change in the model of family relations or divorce. It is impossible for a woman to endure humiliation and, moreover, beatings, regardless of her feelings for this man.
Why does a man humiliate a woman in front of friends and other people, mother-in-law, his relatives, when parting
A loving man will never humiliate, let alone use physical actions against his wife in the presence of strangers. And it does not matter at all who these people are: mother, mother-in-law, friends or outsiders. A loving man, in principle, will not raise his hand to his chosen one. If he allows himself this, then there should be no talk of love.
My husband humiliates me for my past, my parents, my dignity and appearance, my family
It does not matter for what reason a husband allows himself to humiliate his wife. If he does this, it means that he does not respect the girl, does not appreciate her, does not love her. This kind of attitude should not be tolerated. We need to take drastic measures. The longer the weaker sex tolerates this, the more likely it is that the psyche will be broken, and after this we should expect the development of complexes of various kinds in a woman.
Husband humiliates with words in the presence of children I'm on maternity leave how to put in place
The worst thing in such situations is that constant quarrels in the presence of children lead to the fact that they form the concept that such behavior is the norm. Children who grew up in such families will not be able to behave differently in the future, because they were not taught this differently. The boy will try to humiliate his wives, and the girls in the future will endure it silently, or loudly respond to such provocations, dragging the conflict deeper and deeper.
Husband humiliates son from first marriage psychology
Aggression shown by a man towards a child from a previous marriage can be provoked by his jealousy of the past. In such situations, the child is a constant visual reminder that the woman had something, somewhere with someone, and not just had it, but also left its “consequences”. Men tend to be jealous of the past relationship of their ladies.
Why does a man humiliate a woman he likes and loves during pregnancy every day
If everything was normal in family relations before pregnancy, everyone lived quietly, peacefully and in complete mutual understanding, and after the conception of a child, everything in the house suddenly turned upside down, the husband began to offend the expectant mother for no good reason, then you should think about whether he is to blame.
The female body during pregnancy is subject to strong hormonal changes, against which the woman's attitude to what is happening around her also changes. Quite often, she becomes overly emotional, she ceases to have enough attention paid to her. It may seem to the expectant mother that the whole world either forgot about her, or stood up against her.
The husband humiliates during a quarrel but says that he loves and does not leave, but I feel bad without him what to do
If a husband allows himself to systematically humiliate his woman, quarrel with her, use physical violence against her, then you should not even think about the love of this man. He, first of all, does not respect his chosen one. And in a relationship in which there is no respect, there can be no talk of love. They should be torn apart before everything reaches a dead end and stops the point of no return.
1 comment
I offended my husband very much. He's been offended for 5 months now. He speaks rude, hurtful words. I love him, but I can't stand him. I tried to talk to him about this subject, but no results. Says it takes time. What to do?
A real man is a phrase that in no case should be used in relation to a man who insults a woman. Only insecure, weak men do this, they simply do not know other ways to assert themselves, and it is almost impossible to re-educate them. Why does a man insult a woman? Let's figure it out.
Low self-esteem
The main reason is the lack of confidence in . In this way, men feed their egos by hurting those who cannot do something in return. Uncertainty can be caused by a low position in society, especially if a woman occupies a higher position, is the sole breadwinner of the family, for example. Men with low self-esteem are unlikely to go to a psychologist, because this will be a recognition of the problem, and their subconscious mind is just trying to hide it from them.
The subconscious dictates insults to him as self-defense from the rest of society, he is afraid of not being accepted among other men. When he sees the pain on the face of the woman he loves (the choice falls on her, because she is close and will not be able to stand up for herself), the mind rejoices “You are stronger than her! So, in principle, no worse than others, keep it up!”. He doesn't fully understand what he's doing.
It gives him pleasure just to see that he is stronger than at least someone, even a defenseless creature, and if a woman does not mind and is even afraid, then he feels impunity, strength and will only continue, increasing the doses. You can’t be near such a man if you are not a masochist. You can try to talk, but not at the moment when you are insulted, otherwise you will only get more anger. Be patient, and then, in a calm atmosphere, remember this incident and say that you don’t like it when they treat you like that, and something needs to change.
There is a chance that the man will agree to change, and everything will work out, perhaps you will identify some kind of problem and begin to get rid of it together, but if the attempt to talk only led to a new portion of insults, you will not do anything. You need to run away from him as quickly as possible, until he trampled you morally and began to apply.
Fear of losing
It may sound absurd, but another reason is the fear of losing a loved one. When a man sees a confident, self-sufficient woman, even if she is next to him and in love with him, he has a fear that she will find a better option than him and leave. Then he tries to lower her self-esteem so that she feels like nothing, thinks that she has not surrendered to anyone except this man, idolizes him and considers him a savior from loneliness. In this case, you can try to prove your loyalty, again, talk to a man. Although it is worth considering, if this person is so unsure of you and so jealous, can you live with him, you will find eternal quarrels from scratch, many prohibitions and the like. Do you need it?
There is no place in a relationship, if the relationship is not built on trust, it makes no sense. But now you should not think that this is a good excuse for the actions of your man, insults are not allowed in any case, this leads to a decrease in your self-esteem, and you can, without suspecting it, become a doll in his hands. If your words were not heard, leave this man. Further it will only get worse.
Traditions
If a man's father abused his mother, his grandfather abused his grandmother, etc., then it's no surprise that he now abuses you. That is why you need to look at a man's family before starting a relationship, children are like their parents. He got used to it, it surrounded him all his life, it is an absolute norm for him.
If you have a thought "Can he change?", think about the fact that you may have a son who in the future will insult his wife or daughter, who, following your example, will endure insults from her husband, you wouldn’t wish someone, especially your child, such happiness?
What comes from childhood can only be cured by a psychologist, try to explain this to a man, say that after visiting a psychologist everything will work out, that this is very important for you and the habits adopted from your parents are a serious but solvable problem. Although few men, especially those who have taken this habit from their parents, decide to take such a step and generally see insults as a problem, but you won’t drag him there by force. If you don’t want to catch the moment when it turns from insults into domestic violence, leave him, no matter how much you love him, it’s easy to forgive and you can’t turn a blind eye to it.
Partial fault of a woman
Of course, it is foolish to deny that the man himself should be responsible for the actions of a man, but a woman who allows herself to be insulted should also think about it. Perhaps the answer to the question lies in the fact that a woman does not forbid, one might say, he does this with her tacit consent. You need to rethink your behavior. A man may not even understand that he is hurting you if you do not show it in any way and silently accept all his words.
Do not be silent, talk, tell your partner that all this is unpleasant for you, that you are not going to endure it, show that you are not a whipping girl. Just reconsider, in principle, his attitude towards you. Does he love you? Maybe love has blinded you so much that you don't see that this person is just using you. This, unfortunately, happens quite often. Sit down and think about everything, remember the last time he showed you his love and how he humiliated you the last time. Compare. Make a conclusion and make the right decision based on it.
Don't let a man bully you. Always remember that from insults it can develop into something more, and then you will no longer be able to endure. Do something before this moment: either try to change something, or leave this man. But it is impossible to hesitate and think that everything will change by itself here. Will not change. You need to sit down, analyze and change. Either a man, or his attitude towards you.
In the article we will talk about the reasons why men do not appreciate women and humiliate them. I will tell you how the atmosphere in a man's family affects how he will build relationships with his partner. You will learn why you need to care, value yourself and raise your self-esteem, as well as why you can’t forgive a man for an offense too quickly. Following my recommendations, you will learn to keep personal boundaries, not allowing a man to mistreat you, and you will be able to make it clear to him that humiliation and insults are unacceptable in dealing with you.
Happen in life different men. All women want to see a strong and confident companion nearby, who would carefully and reverently treat his chosen one.
Unfortunately, these qualities coexist in one man less often than we would like. Often women find themselves in relationships in which a partner humiliates her, insults her, does not appreciate her, shows psychological or even physical aggression.
Why does a man humiliate me?
The atmosphere in each couple is unique, and it is impossible to fit all relationships under a strict classification. But it is possible with almost one hundred percent probability to determine the reasons why a man does not respect and does not appreciate his soul mate.
Usually men who lack self-confidence behave this way, they cannot realize themselves in society from a position of strength and authority, therefore they assert themselves at the expense of their partner.
Perhaps he is afraid of losing a companion and therefore chose the tactics of intimidation and destruction of her self-esteem so that they never leave him. Or the men in his family behaved in a similar way, and he simply does not know that there is another model of behavior.
Often men do not appreciate or respect women with low self-esteem who settle for less than they deserve. There are a lot of reasons, but this does not mean that humiliation and insults against a woman are normal. Below we will discuss in detail the reasons for disrespect for you from a man and ways to change the attitude towards yourself.
show of strength
A man who cannot boast of his authority in the society of other men, more often than others, breaks down on a woman. He needs someone to recognize his strength and power, and he begins to take out his lack of fulfillment on a weaker one - in our case, on his partner.
Insults, bullying, ridicule, threats, criticism or even physical assault - anything to feel superior. The desire of a man to demonstrate his strength and power to a woman who is ahead of him in anything is especially acute. This is how his ego works: a man does not tolerate the superiority of a partner in those areas in which he should be the leader by default.
Do you think such a tyrant and despot deserves respect? If yes, then check out here, which will help you figure it out.
This also includes the lack of self-confidence and the lack of absolute motherly love in childhood. A disliked and insecure boy bullies classmates at school, bickers with a teacher and hooligans, gets into fights. An insecure adult man raises self-esteem at the expense of a woman, humiliating her and thus showing his strength and significance.
Aggression as a natural model of behavior
It is quite possible that your chosen one from childhood watched how his father and grandfather were rude to his mother and grandmother, insulted them, or even beat them. Often men who grew up in such conditions do not even imagine that there is another model of relationships. One in which partners respect each other's feelings and dignity, where there is no place for insults and humiliation.
Take a look at his family. If you notice that your father yells at your mother, criticizes her in front of strangers, jokes evilly and insults, think carefully about whether you want such a future for your family. Because it will be very difficult to teach such a man relationships in which partners respect each other's personal boundaries. From childhood, he got used to the fact that aggression towards a woman is the only and sure way to let off steam.
Watch this video from relationship expert Nadezhda Mayer. Learn how to make a man stop being rude and aggressive.
Fear of loss
A man can humiliate and insult a woman, because he is afraid that she will leave him. The logic in this case is this: he undermines your self-esteem and self-confidence with ridicule and insults, and you, in turn, begin to believe that no one else needs him.
This tactic absolutely works on women who, without insults, are endlessly dissatisfied with themselves thanks to modern requirements. After all, a real woman allegedly manages to do everything: to earn on a par with her husband, and to keep the house clean, and to cook for the whole family, and to keep herself in perfect shape, preferably without spending a penny on it, which is basically impossible.
A frightened, humiliated, insecure woman not only does not leave, but also feels a sincere feeling of gratitude to her partner, who took her, so imperfect, under the wing and made her happy.
There is only one way out of the situation: urgently raise self-esteem. Together with her, the understanding will come that such treatment of you is unacceptable, and if a man does not want to lose you, he will have to choose a different tactic.
Women with low self-esteem
A woman who does not love and does not value herself is more likely to get into a relationship where her partner does not respect her. This is because insecure people get used to being content with less than they deserve.
If you consider yourself unattractive, incapable, a bad mother, wife and worker, if it seems to you that your body is far from ideal, and your mental abilities remain at the level of the school curriculum, and if you regularly share your experiences with your partner, you give him permission not respect and disrespect you. Just because you don't value yourself.
It's one thing to doubt yourself, that's okay. And it is quite another to share these doubts with a man. Never, ever say to him the words that you have cellulite here, stretch marks there, and also fat arms or a hooked nose, that you are a loser, stupid and all that.
By saying this, women want to hear "Honey, are you the most attractive / smart / worthy." But it doesn't work that way. On the contrary, a man perceives this as an invitation to treat you the same way you do.
Complained with him a couple of times about your figure or thin hair - the third time you won’t have to complain, he will tell you all this himself. And in a much more rude form than you speak of yourself.
If you have convicted yourself of such behavior in front of a man, urgently get used to controlling what and how you say. Have you heard the joke that a woman who saves on herself causes only one desire in a man - to save money? It is the same with self-esteem, only the resource is not money, but respect and admiration. If you want the chosen one to carry you in his arms and shower you with compliments, first of all, sincerely believe that you deserve it.
Learn and then your man will undoubtedly begin to respect you.
What should I do if a man humiliates me
Even the most attractive, smart and interesting women can find themselves in a situation in which a man humiliates her.
First of all, you need to understand that such behavior is unacceptable, and do not slow down situations in which he humiliated or insulted you. If you have forgiven him once, twice, and three times, and yet your forgiveness cost him absolutely no effort, he will not draw any conclusion and will continue to regularly humiliate you.
Therefore, the first way to stop bad jokes and insults against you is to distance yourself. As much as you can. At the same time, explain to him what is the reason for the suspension and how he can return your favor.
The more difficult it will be for him to earn forgiveness, the more likely he will draw the right conclusion. And there can be only one conclusion - you can’t be treated like that, period.
The second way to stop humiliation and insults is to increase self-esteem and believe that you deserve much more than this man can offer you. There are many ways to raise self-esteem, choose to your taste.
It is necessary to develop self-confidence and self-respect, since the attitude towards oneself directly affects the quality of life. Please love yourself, take care of your peace of mind and do not give up personal boundaries to a man who humiliates you.
Do not settle for such an attitude, because sooner or later you yourself will believe what he says about you. Learn to value yourself so that others around you, including your partner, begin to do it.
Answers on questions
Married for a long time, have children. I do a lot for my family, there is no help, I do everything myself. At the same time, I manage to work and keep fit. But over time, I began to notice that the more I do for my husband, the less he appreciates it, he takes everything for granted. Previously, he blew dust particles off me, but now he is not shy in expressions if he is dissatisfied with something. The last time I wanted to go out for coffee with a friend, and he said that I only care about girlfriends and going to cafes. It's very disappointing to hear this, how to return his good attitude?
Stop trying to please your spouse and remember that you have your own desires. Surely, on maternity leave with your last child, you dreamed that he would grow up and then you would definitely go to karaoke with your friends, go on a trip, sign up for English courses, or just go to the cinema alone and take a walk around the city.
It was so? So start doing what you have long wanted, right now. Finally, leave your husband half of his responsibilities for caring for children and the house - after all, children have two parents who both work, which means that all household duties should be divided in half.
Men love comfortable and perfect women, but do not appreciate them. Redefine your personal boundaries and remind your husband that you are entitled to a few hours a week that you can use as you see fit.
Were with a man in a bar with a group of his friends. I left earlier, because I didn’t feel well, but he stayed. Closer to the night I became ill, called him with a request to come home, and he made fun of me, said unpleasant things and refused to go. And I realized that his friends heard everything, because immediately after his remarks, everyone started laughing. I feel humiliated, insulted, but I have no idea how to teach him a lesson. In the morning he came to breakfast, as if nothing had happened, and did not even apologize.
Did you also get up early to cook breakfast for him? Next time, it would be nice if, after a similar situation, your man would not find you at home after returning from a party. And I couldn't call you.
The harsher his insults, the more serious the measures you take should be. And don't give up like that, even without an apology. A man won’t understand that you shouldn’t be treated like that if forgiveness is too easy for him after the incident.
I met a man two years ago. Spark, tender feelings, could not part for hours after meetings. He moved in with me, quit his job, which was far to get to, helped him find another, closer one. Arranged for my friends. She was an ideal housewife, always fresh homemade food, ironed shirts, cleanliness and comfort. She helped with the work as far as possible, gave gifts, cared for, supported him in everything. I still don't understand at what point everything went wrong. He began to drink, after a conflict at work he quit, he did not look for a new place. But he began to bring women into the house, while I work for two, to support him, the unemployed, and reproach me for the fact that I am to blame for all his failures. This was the last straw. We parted, enough time passed, but I never met anyone: I'm afraid of history repeating itself. I wish I knew what I did wrong to prevent this from happening in the future.
Your mistake is that you voluntarily assumed the role of the head of your family. They invited him to live in their apartment, convinced him to leave an uncomfortable job and arranged for his friends, dragging life and finances on themselves.
The task of a woman is to take care of a man, and not vice versa. It is you who must depend on him, not him on you.
In fact, many women find themselves in such a situation, who want to appear strong, independent and, as a result, lose on all fronts, while remaining guilty at the same time. To prevent this from happening, do not try to take on men's worries, encourage his initiative, take his guardianship and attention.
You don't have to solve his problems. The best thing you can do if a man has difficulties is to support him and tell him that he will definitely cope with everything. That's all.
Do not suppress in men those qualities for which we love them. Appreciate yourself, it’s better to devote an extra free minute to yourself, and not to dirty dishes or an unironed shirt. Then the man will treat you accordingly.
What to remember
- Men who have not received respect and recognition in the circle of other men break down on a woman, asserting themselves in this way.
- If in a man's family his father humiliated or insulted his mother, it is likely that he will behave the same way towards you - he considers this behavior acceptable.
- A woman who is not self-confident, suffers from low self-esteem and at the same time sharing her dissatisfaction with herself with a man, unconsciously gives him permission to humiliate and insult.
- Even if a man shows disrespect and humiliates a woman for fear of losing her, this is not a reason to feel sorry for him and let go of the offense - such treatment is unacceptable.
- Humiliation, ridicule, bullying, ridicule must be stopped immediately.
- The sooner you forgive him, the less likely he is to draw the necessary conclusion.
- Raising self-esteem and appreciating yourself is a sure way to get the treatment you deserve.
Article content:
To begin with, there are no purely ideal moments in a relationship, misunderstandings happen in every family, but the essence is in the development and consequences of quarrels. Most of the time, it's an insult. Many ladies of the fair sex asked themselves the question: why does a man insult and humiliate a woman? Let's figure out why a man insulted and humiliated.
Reasons why men humiliate women:
- subconscious response. For males who insult and humiliate beautiful ladies, a defense reaction begins on the subconscious when they begin to yell at them and pour out all the negativity;
- Wants to intimidate and be right about everything. He will not back down from his opinion, so he insults and humiliates the female half in order to prove his position;
- He does not have the courage to break with you;
- Childhood example. The person who humiliates grew up in such an environment and saw tyrannical behavior from his father, grandfather, or the person who raised him. Even worse, if they run around him.
Psychology, why a man humiliates a woman
Step by step we delve into the essence of the issue. Why a man humiliates and insults a woman - the psychology is as follows:
- A man humiliates, using it as a way to control and power. The goal is to destroy and change the personal opinion of your partner. Having become an authority for her, he believes that he can perfectly manage and manipulate her;
- A man humiliates and insults girls - this is the psychology of a weak, insecure man who wants to raise self-esteem and show himself;
- It's convenient for him. A man sees that there is no rebuff from the girl, she does not touch him, and continues to offend with 100% certainty that she is doing everything right, since the lady is silent. They can offend, humiliate, insult any woman anywhere: in transport, on vacation, at work , but why do men like to humiliate their beloved girlfriend or wife at home, let's try to find the answer. After all, it is very scary, especially since children can see everything!
Why does a man humiliate the woman he loves
- The woman herself chose the role of the victim. Perhaps unconsciously, because she saw such an example of her mother's behavior. The second option is when the lady is very much in love with her prince, does not see his shortcomings, and is sure that he is right in such behavior, and she is to blame and provoked him;
- They are used to living and behaving like this! Both! A woman obeys in everything, cooks, washes, looks after, he gets used to it. If the other half missed what he was used to (for example, did not serve on time to eat), there will be a quarrel, and the man begins to offend. And the wife silently endures and endures;
- The male sex wants to prove its status. If this does not work out among colleagues, among friends, a man humiliates his soulmate where? At home. Although there, he feels at his best, using this method, maybe to him;
- All the dissatisfaction and negativity that has gathered over the whole day must be thrown out. And why does the male sex love to humiliate his wives, and not those who got him? Because, a woman will listen and endure and will not go anywhere (in his opinion), and in a robot, for example, they can be fired or demoted. And he is looking for any reason to hurt his wife to get rid of all the bad results of the day;
- Competition. The husband sees that his wife is strong in character, achieves more than him, his self-esteem drops, and he begins to humiliate her;
- Fear that the spouse will begin to destroy his personal space (before marriage, he walked with friends, had a rest, did what he loved, and there are already obligations), and he begins to humiliate his beloved half so that his space would not be violated;
- Upbringing. Look at the parents of the boyfriend or husband. If his father is a tyrant and loves to constantly humiliate his mother, then the son’s behavior is likely to be similar, since his father brought him up like that, set an example;
- wife's behavior. If you constantly nag your spouse, express your dissatisfaction in an evil tone for any reason, his patience will also burst, and he will respond in kind.
Why does a man try to humiliate
There are many reasons, but this does not give the right to humiliate and insult. It is always necessary to find a compromise, but the outcome of the event as humiliation and violence is extremely unacceptable. We can summarize why men try to humiliate a woman: this upbringing was inherited, the weakness of men that they want to raise self-esteem, the desire to get and control the female sex in this way, the response to female tantrums and constant discontent, or the other half makes himself a victim, as well as the desire to show oneself at a height in front of another person.
Most often, these are the aggressors who believe that they are always right. The girl, in order not to become a victim, must fight back. Any conflict situation must be adequate and not go beyond what is permitted, especially to the point of violence. You have to control yourself, on both sides. And to realize your mistakes is already the first stage of mutual understanding.
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Finding the relics of blgv. Princess Anna Kashinskaya (1649). Prpp. Onuphrius the Silent and Onesimus the Recluse, Caves (XII-XIII).
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Shmch. Peter Golubev presbyter (1938). Finding the relics of St. Roman Medved, Spanish, presbyter (1999).
The marriage does not take place.
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Beauty and HealthLove and Relationships
How many articles are devoted to real representatives of the stronger sex, but besides them, there are those who, although they belong to the male sex, do not behave like men. They allow themselves to be rude, insult and offend women. There is no excuse for this, since they are stronger, but you can only fight this phenomenon by understanding what is the reason that makes them behave so low. So why do men humiliate women? Now let's figure it out.
Why do men insult women
The reasons for any actions and deeds are always hidden in the depths of a person’s subconscious, and often he is not aware of them until a moment comes that forces him to think why life is not the way he would like, and people around react negatively to him. At this moment, there is a chance to change for the better. Unfortunately, to recognize the very fact that a person is doing something wrong is a great success. Subconscious processes are well hidden from people, and the eternal rush, which does not allow you to stop for a minute to think about whether you are going the right way, generally deprives you of any chance to learn something very important about yourself.
Understanding and realizing the hidden motives of behavior and actions can be done with the help of introspection, psychologists or other people who are able to say from the outside in a calm manner that a person behaves selfishly and hurts others. The only problem is that such people, especially males, do not want to hear what they are told, and even more so go to a psychologist (they are not sick) or engage in introspection (wasting time on incomprehensible nonsense), they are deeply convinced that they are doing everything right, and it is those whom they offend, react incorrectly, or are themselves to blame.
To change the situation, forcing them to think at least for a minute about their behavior, is possible only in peaceful ways. In moments of calm, just voice that you, as his beloved woman, are hurt by his words and actions. It is important to say all this calmly, choosing words that accurately reflect your feelings and hint to him at the possible reason for his behavior, so that he understands what to pay attention to in order to make sure that you or your own are right. Here, as they say, how it will turn out.
Attempts to convey your disappointment to him with the help of screams, in a state of rage, when you want to tear and throw out of resentment and pain, will be in vain. When people are yelled at, whether justifiably or not, they turn on a defense mechanism, or they stop perceiving what they are being told at all, as they subconsciously understand that negative things will be poured on them that will cause harm, or they will enter into a skirmish to silence the other and intimidate, because they become scared at this moment themselves.
All these processes are subconscious, therefore they are not realized by people, they occur instantly, but knowing about them in advance, there is a chance to avoid new quarrels, because they will definitely not be able to solve the problem. But in order to tell everything in a calm atmosphere, when the right moment comes, hinting at what is happening to the person himself, because it’s not easy for him to behave this way, you need to know what reasons most often make men humiliate women, what provoked them and how you can deal with them. cope with.
Psychologists agree that only weak men behave this way, insecure, unloved in childhood, accustomed to such a model of behavior, their father or the men who replaced him in childhood behaved this way if the boy grew up alone. People who love themselves know how to feel someone else's pain, even if they are strong men who are used to not expressing their emotions and pity too often. They have no need to raise their own self-esteem at the expense of others. If suddenly they have slightly decreased, but there is love for themselves, they will find another way to increase it, without offending anyone, especially women. Insulting and humiliating another person, you, first of all, lower yourself. Worthy, self-respecting people will never allow themselves such behavior.
To offend and humiliate... A similar way of solving internal problems is chosen by weak representatives of the stronger sex, who are even too lazy to think about the problems that await them if they continue to behave like tyrants further. For some reason, living in a society where such an attitude towards the obviously weak is not encouraged, but, on the contrary, is condemned, sometimes quietly, but condemnation is always present, such men do not bother to think about why they allow themselves such behavior and really whether they are sure that this will continue forever and does not threaten them with anything.
They may believe that they are not doing anything wrong, only because they are afraid to admit that they are after all bad people, they are too lazy to take care of themselves, because this is also a kind of recognition of their shortcomings. This behavior is cultivated for a reason, it is based on the fact that women who are humiliated by such men are used to behaving like victims. They do not accept their behavior so as not to worry about him, and do not give them a rebuff, either verbal or forceful, at least in the form of parting with them and deleting them from their lives.
The unwillingness to voice justified claims and grievances that arose because of his behavior in a calm environment is due to the fact that then he will have to make a decision: stay and not pay more attention, since she loves him so much, or leave. And it’s scary to do this, because the status of the victim gives her a lot of advantages, especially since her mother also behaved, and such a model of behavior is absolutely familiar. Who wants to admit that she is also to blame for the fact that she is constantly offended, and she continues to endure it, without even trying to think, maybe something is wrong with her too.
This behavior of women allows men to humiliate them further, as they feel their impunity.
Why do men humiliate women
But only women are not always to blame, after all, they don’t specifically provoke such behavior towards themselves, and only then they react as best they can, leave or suffer from too much patience and fear of losing even such a bad, but still a man . Unfortunately, our society still continues to evaluate the value of a woman by the presence of a man next to her or his absence. It is worth mentioning that a normal man will never humiliate a woman, no matter how she behaves and no matter how tolerant and kind to others. Those who behave rudely are those who themselves inside feel their own inferiority, which they are trying to get rid of by humiliating those who are obviously weaker than them. Without meeting a rebuff, they generally cease to see the boundaries and continue to violate them more and more subtly. Men allow themselves to behave this way because their status is not as high as they would like. And they are trying to rise in order to feel on top at least against someone else's background. And since it is much easier for them to show strength and rudeness towards someone who depends on them, especially since it is easier than trying to achieve the status they need, they are trying their best. They are afraid to fight difficulties, compete and compete with other members of the stronger sex, because they are not sure of themselves and their success, but since ambitions are generally huge against this background, they need to throw out the accumulated dissatisfaction with themselves and others. And a woman looking at him with loving eyes and expressing complete submission ... What could be better for his anger?! No one will rebuff him, will not object, will not say that it is time for you, dear, to take care of your own self-esteem, so as not to remain lonely, as any women will run away from you, tired of enduring humiliation. So they humiliate women when their subconscious discontent begins to corrode the soul, and this happens often, while the disease - low self-esteem - remains uncured. Because of her, some feel the fear of losing their beloved, and so that this does not happen, instead of getting rid of fear, which is done again by increasing their own self-esteem and self-love, they begin to humiliate, offend and criticize the woman. In other words, destroy her self-esteem to such an extent that she herself believes that no one else will need such a wrong one. It just happens all the time, because his fear does not disappear anywhere, and he continues to try with all his might, turning a woman into a downtrodden and insecure creature, completely dependent on him. 
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Those who respect themselves and do not want to tolerate such an attitude should remember that there is no excuse for men to allow themselves to humiliate and insult women. They do this because of their promiscuity and unwillingness to respect others, no matter how much they are asked not to do this, and no matter how society tries to raise worthy men.
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To begin with, there are no purely ideal moments in a relationship, misunderstandings happen in every family, but the essence is in the development and consequences of quarrels. Most of the time, it's an insult. Many ladies of the fair sex asked themselves the question: why does a man insult and humiliate a woman? Let's figure out why a man insulted and humiliated.
Reasons why men humiliate women:
subconscious response. For males who insult and humiliate beautiful ladies, a defense reaction begins on the subconscious, when they begin to yell at them and pour out all the negativity; Wants to intimidate and be right about everything. He will not back down from his opinion, so he insults and humiliates the female half in order to prove his position; He has a mistress and does not have the courage to break with you; An example of childhood. The person who humiliates grew up in such an environment and saw tyrannical behavior from his father, grandfather, or the person who raised him. Even worse, if they run around him.
Step by step we delve into the essence of the issue. Why a man humiliates and insults a woman - the psychology is as follows:
A man humiliates, using it as a way to control and power. The goal is to destroy and change the personal opinion of your partner. Having become an authority for her, he believes that he can perfectly manage and manipulate her; A man humiliates and insults girls - this is the psychology of a weak, insecure man who wants to raise self-esteem and show himself; It is convenient for him. A man sees that there is no rebuff from the girl, she does not touch him, and continues to offend with 100% certainty that she is doing everything right, since the lady is silent. They can offend, humiliate, insult any woman anywhere: in transport, on vacation, at work , but why do men like to humiliate their beloved girlfriend or wife at home, let's try to find the answer. After all, it is very scary, especially since children can see everything!
Why does a man humiliate the woman he loves
The woman herself chose the role of the victim. Perhaps unconsciously, because she saw such an example of her mother's behavior. The second option is when the lady is very much in love with her prince, does not see his shortcomings, and is sure that he is right in such behavior, and she is to blame and provoked him; They are used to living and behaving like this! Both! A woman obeys in everything, cooks, washes, looks after, he gets used to it. If the other half missed what he was used to (for example, did not serve on time to eat), there will be a quarrel, and the man begins to offend. And the wife silently endures and endures; The male wants to prove his status. If this does not work out among colleagues, among friends, a man humiliates his soulmate where? At home. Although there, he feels at his best, using this method, maybe he lacks her attention; All the discontent and negativity that has gathered all day must be thrown out. And why does the male sex love to humiliate his wives, and not those who got him? Because, a woman will listen and endure and will not go anywhere (in his opinion), and in a robot, for example, they can be fired or demoted. And he is looking for any reason to hurt his wife to get rid of all the bad results of the day; Competition. The husband sees that his wife is strong in character, achieves more than him, his self-esteem drops, and he begins to humiliate her; there are obligations), and he begins to humiliate his beloved half, so that his space would not be violated; Education. Look at the parents of the boyfriend or husband. If his father is a tyrant and loves to constantly humiliate his mother, then the son’s behavior is likely to be similar, since his father brought him up like that, set an example; Behavior of his wife. If you constantly nag your spouse, express your dissatisfaction in an evil tone for any reason, his patience will also burst, and he will respond in kind.
Why does a man try to humiliate
There are many reasons, but this does not give the right to humiliate and insult. It is always necessary to find a compromise, but the outcome of the event as humiliation and violence is extremely unacceptable. We can summarize why men try to humiliate a woman: this upbringing was inherited, the weakness of men that they want to raise self-esteem, the desire to get and control the female sex in this way, the response to female tantrums and constant discontent, or the other half makes himself a victim, as well as the desire to show oneself at a height in front of another person.
Most often, these are the aggressors who believe that they are always right. The girl, in order not to become a victim, must fight back. Any conflict situation must be adequate and not go beyond what is permitted, especially to the point of violence. You need to control yourself, work on relationships on both sides. And to realize your mistakes is already the first stage of mutual understanding.
Man and woman. Their relationship is extremely complex and full of dramatic moments. Love and hate seem to exist side by side. No one knows at what point love and prudence recede, and a flurry of anger and hatred rushes in their place. It is difficult to imagine a family, even in our age, where such incidents would not occur. And most often, representatives of the weaker sex become victims of rude attitude. What happens to the representatives of the stronger sex, why is a man able to humiliate and offend his beloved woman? How to protect yourself and what to do to stop it?
Married life is not complete without misunderstandings, disputes, quarrels and serious conflicts. And that's okay. The bad thing is that people do not know how to solve their problems. Very often, feeling his physical superiority, a man insults his woman, thereby humiliating her.
The psychology of men and women is different. Representatives of the beautiful half of humanity have a poor idea of the psychological characteristics of men: they are different and much more complicated than women. And they do not justify their name at all - the stronger sex. It is only outwardly that they are strong, resolute, tough and courageous. But they are also extremely vulnerable, sometimes sentimental and vulnerable, they do not adapt well to changes in the world around them. Men do not cry: they have been prescribed to restrain their emotions since childhood. Many of their features play a cruel joke with them. Not surprisingly, they often break and break.
Self-assertion at any cost
An important psychological trait of men is their desire for self-affirmation. From early childhood to old age, in any activity, he tries to assert himself. This trait begins to manifest itself in the family he created. The struggle for leadership can unfold already in the early stages of family relationships and escalate at moments of fading feelings. Dominance in the solution of any issue, ignoring the opinion of the spouse, neglect of her point of view gives rise to resentment in the soul and resistance. Disagreement on some issues can cause irritation in a man and a desire to humiliate and insult her. So the family turns into an arena of struggle for leadership with all the ensuing consequences.
Rivalry
Modern representatives of the weaker sex often have a higher level of education, earn the same as their husbands, and sometimes achieve more in life. They, women, are more enduring in nature. Their confidence and ability to easily and successfully adapt to changing conditions hits a man’s self-esteem: next to such a lady, he subconsciously feels like a worthless person. This gives rise to irritation, which in conflicts results in unreasonable insults to women.
Men with low self-esteem cannot establish themselves at work or among friends. So they are trying to increase their self-esteem at the expense of their wives, humiliating and offending them.
Manifestation of aggressiveness
Aggression as a personality trait is inherent in both men and women. Naturally, people have different levels. It can also manifest itself in certain situations, as a reaction to some unpleasant life events. A man with a high level of natural aggressiveness is unrestrained and conflicted. He is distinguished by impulsiveness, unpredictability of his actions and his behavior. He suffers from a lack of self-control. But he splashes out the accumulated tension not at work, but on his loved ones at home and, above all, on the one he loves. Sometimes he himself does not understand and cannot explain what caused such a storm of anger and a stream of insults against his wife.
Situational aggressiveness arises as a reaction to internal conflicts generated by various unpleasant circumstances (problems at work, depressed mood, poor health, friction with superiors, material difficulties, failures, mistakes, mistakes, and so on). Aggression requires a way out and spills out in the form of humiliation and insult to the closest person. It is clear that carrying negative emotions in oneself is very unhealthy: there is a whole list of serious diseases caused by restrained emotions. But detente on others is not a way out.
Sufficiently high aggressiveness is distinguished by men of certain types of character (rigid, uncontrollable, demonstrative) and temperament (choleric). People with one of these types of character are ambitious, they have high self-esteem, they do not want and do not know how to reckon with the opinions of other people. Only their point of view is correct, and it never changes. Their rude and aggressive behavior has a devastating effect on marital relationships. For a woman to have such a partner in life is a real punishment, not everyone is able to adapt to him.
More deeply this topic is disclosed in the article: Temperaments and conflicts in the family.
Gaps in education
We all come from childhood, we all go through the school of family relations at that tender age, when we still do not know how to distinguish what is good and what should not be learned and done. The behavior pattern of the father, who constantly insults and humiliates the mother, is assimilated by the children. The boy, having become an adult, then also treats his wife. The patience and humility of the mother and the rudeness of the father become the norm for the girl. Subconsciously, the young man chooses the one that will endure humiliation. And the young wife will never have a question why a man calls names and humiliates a woman. Many psychologists say that children repeat the fate of their parents and even some of the events of their lives. Don't believe? Take a closer look at the acquaintances around you, analyze their fates.
Love and jealousy
He loves, but periodically insults and humiliates the woman he loves, why? Yes, the great passion of one of the spouses is not always good for the psychological climate in the family. The balance of emotional relationships is disturbed. Where there is love, there is the fear of losing a loved one, and there jealousy arises. Any word or remark of a wife can be misinterpreted by a jealous husband. Repressed feelings sooner or later will result in the form of unfounded accusations and insults that humiliate the spouse.
The character and behavior of the wife
Not only men with their difficulties are guilty of quarrels in the family. Beautiful ladies are sometimes masterfully capable of causing aggression of their husband with their behavior. Constant dissatisfaction, grumbling and whining, a demonstration of a bad mood and silence (they say, guess for yourself what is wrong with me or with us), ignorance or unwillingness to reckon with the peculiarities of your half can cause swearing and insults from the husband. His answer is adequate to the behavior of his wife. And what about the stubbornness demonstrated by a woman in insisting on her opinion and the causeless tantrums they throw. He simply does not have enough arguments or the ability to insist on his own. Well, what is not a reason for a verbal fight?
There are many more reasons why men humiliate and insult women. But what to do in these situations? What advice can be given?
Lovely girls! Seriously approach the choice of a life partner. If during the period of courtship there are insults or hints of humiliation even in a playful form, then everything will get worse: do not cherish the dream that you will be able to re-educate your loved one. Once demonstrated to you, rudeness, as a rule, is repeated and becomes permanent. Therefore, it is impossible to endure and be silent, it is necessary to react: discuss and find with your partner the reason for rude behavior, but only in a calm situation. Never respond to swearing with swearing. Dear ladies! If you are being treated rudely by your life partners, do not be afraid to look in yourself for the reasons. After all, we are not always angels. Work on relationships constantly. You can destroy everything easily and quickly, but creation requires strength and patience.
Very often, verbal aggression is accompanied by physical violence. There is a relationship between victim and persecutor. But that's a topic for another article.
Read the article: Husband-tyrant: a psychological portrait